TEST DRIVE

[calloperators]

> Hello, you have reached the 1-800-HOTLINE Test Drive. We are currently unable to take your call. Whilst we put you on hold, feel free to play around for a while...

***

Waking up
Where the hell were you last night? Maybe waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a blacked-out memory isn't so unusual for you, but that buzzing in your head is. The phone beside you rings with a 7:00 AM wake-up call, and a message left behind:

Go downstairs, to the lobby. Meet the others. Don't get attached, and don't mention this call.

The AC is busted and in this hot summer, you probably won't want to stay in your room forever.

What's new, Pussycat?
Of course, there's much more around here than just the motel. Stepping out and hitting the town will give you plenty to do. There's stores aplenty, but that's nothing to say of the good residents of the stores; your friendly neighborhood bodega cats. They're content to laze around the aisles, though the more playful sorts may swat at your wayward accessories as you pass by.

Don't mind that they seem to disappear - and reappear - with a blink. That's just something cats can do.

Hungry?
Of course you are! There's plenty of places to eat here, but why go to some no-name joint when you can go to McDonalds? They've got burgers, they've got fries, they've got McPizza, and they even have a playplace! ...Though you're probably too old for the ball pit.

Regardless of what you order, if you even order, the cashier presses a small toy into the palm of your hand. Don't you feel a pair of tiny eyes on you?

McMurder
For fuck's sake, someone only went and killed a guy in the McDonald's parking lot. Maybe his head is smashed in under that chicken mask, or maybe you'll want to check? You could do the right thing and work out who did this, or you could make off with his baseball bat. The choice is yours.


Night life
What good's a city that goes to sleep? When the sun goes down, the lights go up. The city becomes aglow with every colour of the neon rainbow, with bowling alleys, nightclubs, karaoke bars, arcades and soon-to-be-extinct roller discos competing for your attention until the sun comes up. You're here, there's no curfew, it's time to make the most of it.

Wildcard
Have something else in mind? Go wild, and party like it's 1989.

Comments

waking up

[pkemeter]

[Well, Ladd, you've just approached the stuffiest, most serious person in the room--a nerd named Dr. Egon Spengler. Spengler gives him a cursory glance, taking in the red splotches on his jacket, his speech mannerisms, his callous and otherwise overconfident posturing. His expression barely shifts from its deadpan state, and his voice seems to match--barely rising above a dull, flat drone.]

No. I haven't seen any "dames" around here. Nor have I seen any of the motel staff.

[Early 20th century American slang. Spengler adjusts his glasses, careful not to make direct eye contact with him. The circumstances surrounding his appearance in this place only seem to grow stranger by the minute.]

Judging from my observations, this place does not appear to be New York--at least, the New York that I know. [He gestures to the nearby window.] For example, New York does not have the sufficient climate to grow palm trees. I would guess that we are currently located in some sort of sub-tropical zone somewhere in America, as the United States are the few countries that actually use motels, and the fact that most of the signs outside appear to be in English. Unless I can get a better look at those palm trees, I would narrow down our location to either California or the southeast coast.

[Sorry you got a five minute lecture on geography]