TEST DRIVE

[calloperators]

> Hello, you have reached the 1-800-HOTLINE Test Drive. We are currently unable to take your call. Whilst we put you on hold, feel free to play around for a while...

***

Waking up
Where the hell were you last night? Maybe waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a blacked-out memory isn't so unusual for you, but that buzzing in your head is. The phone beside you rings with a 7:00 AM wake-up call, and a message left behind:

Go downstairs, to the lobby. Meet the others. Don't get attached, and don't mention this call.

The AC is busted and in this hot summer, you probably won't want to stay in your room forever.

What's new, Pussycat?
Of course, there's much more around here than just the motel. Stepping out and hitting the town will give you plenty to do. There's stores aplenty, but that's nothing to say of the good residents of the stores; your friendly neighborhood bodega cats. They're content to laze around the aisles, though the more playful sorts may swat at your wayward accessories as you pass by.

Don't mind that they seem to disappear - and reappear - with a blink. That's just something cats can do.

Hungry?
Of course you are! There's plenty of places to eat here, but why go to some no-name joint when you can go to McDonalds? They've got burgers, they've got fries, they've got McPizza, and they even have a playplace! ...Though you're probably too old for the ball pit.

Regardless of what you order, if you even order, the cashier presses a small toy into the palm of your hand. Don't you feel a pair of tiny eyes on you?

McMurder
For fuck's sake, someone only went and killed a guy in the McDonald's parking lot. Maybe his head is smashed in under that chicken mask, or maybe you'll want to check? You could do the right thing and work out who did this, or you could make off with his baseball bat. The choice is yours.


Night life
What good's a city that goes to sleep? When the sun goes down, the lights go up. The city becomes aglow with every colour of the neon rainbow, with bowling alleys, nightclubs, karaoke bars, arcades and soon-to-be-extinct roller discos competing for your attention until the sun comes up. You're here, there's no curfew, it's time to make the most of it.

Wildcard
Have something else in mind? Go wild, and party like it's 1989.

Comments

[thegreenhornet]

Sure, I guess I can do that...

[Moving the corpse is right on the line between what he's willing to do and what he isn't, luckily]

Since you're so interested in his legs you take them, I'll go over here. [He moves beside the head of the body, grabbing it from the armpits and cringing with disgust] You owe me a big one, you dick.

[blutsauger]

[Honestly, Medic half expected Britt to completely refuse. He beams delightedly at him as he grabs the dead man's legs.]

Danke, my friend! I believe we are both staying at the same motel, ja? I just need to bring this man back to my room.

[thegreenhornet]

That's got to break some sort of sanitary rule.

[Britt's concerned about the possibility of there being a rotting corpse anywhere close to his room, pretty much]

[blutsauger]

Ehhhhh. [Dismissive hand wave] Maybe, but whoever killed this guy was probably breaking sanitation rules as well. I'm pretty sure dead human corpses outside McDonalds are some kind of health hazard.

At least we're removing him from where people eat! So actually, we are improving sanitation here.