TEST DRIVE

[calloperators]

> Hello, you have reached the 1-800-HOTLINE Test Drive. We are currently unable to take your call. Whilst we put you on hold, feel free to play around for a while...

***

Waking up
Where the hell were you last night? Maybe waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a blacked-out memory isn't so unusual for you, but that buzzing in your head is. The phone beside you rings with a 7:00 AM wake-up call, and a message left behind:

Go downstairs, to the lobby. Meet the others. Don't get attached, and don't mention this call.

The AC is busted and in this hot summer, you probably won't want to stay in your room forever.

What's new, Pussycat?
Of course, there's much more around here than just the motel. Stepping out and hitting the town will give you plenty to do. There's stores aplenty, but that's nothing to say of the good residents of the stores; your friendly neighborhood bodega cats. They're content to laze around the aisles, though the more playful sorts may swat at your wayward accessories as you pass by.

Don't mind that they seem to disappear - and reappear - with a blink. That's just something cats can do.

Hungry?
Of course you are! There's plenty of places to eat here, but why go to some no-name joint when you can go to McDonalds? They've got burgers, they've got fries, they've got McPizza, and they even have a playplace! ...Though you're probably too old for the ball pit.

Regardless of what you order, if you even order, the cashier presses a small toy into the palm of your hand. Don't you feel a pair of tiny eyes on you?

McMurder
For fuck's sake, someone only went and killed a guy in the McDonald's parking lot. Maybe his head is smashed in under that chicken mask, or maybe you'll want to check? You could do the right thing and work out who did this, or you could make off with his baseball bat. The choice is yours.


Night life
What good's a city that goes to sleep? When the sun goes down, the lights go up. The city becomes aglow with every colour of the neon rainbow, with bowling alleys, nightclubs, karaoke bars, arcades and soon-to-be-extinct roller discos competing for your attention until the sun comes up. You're here, there's no curfew, it's time to make the most of it.

Wildcard
Have something else in mind? Go wild, and party like it's 1989.

Comments

[rainblower]

[Heck yeah! Pyro would also feel much better about this if they actually had, you know, their flamethrower on them or any source of fire, but they can make do with their otherwise intimidating presence. They snap their fingers and march off towards the door, a confident step in their stride, and reach for the doorknob--

Hm. The door doesn't budge open. They stop for a moment, staring at the door and scratching their head. Of course it's not that easy. They silently turn their head to look at Britt and make a chopping motion with their hands at the door, as if they were holding an invisible axe.

Let anarchy reign in this motel.]

[thegreenhornet]

An axe? Who needs a lousy axe when you got your feet?

[Britt steps back, takes a deep breath, and rushes forward, raising his feet and kicking the door right ahead. It's a lot of noise, and Britt falls to the floor, wincing]

Did the lock break?

[He stands up a bit shakily, because that was a strong blow. Britt has some decent strength, that's for sure]

[rainblower]

[Sure did! When Pyro turns the doorknob, the door swings open easily. The glance inside. It looks just like a regular motel office--the shades are drawn and light falls in strips across the room. A thin layer of dust seems to have settled on all surfaces.

They tilt their head to the side, then look back down to Britt in concern.]

Hrrr yuu mmhhky?

[thegreenhornet]

Come on, falling to the floor isn't enough to hurt me. I'm fine.

[What kind of vigilante would he be if that was enough to injure him, hah]

Doesn't seem like anyone has been here for a while.

[rainblower]

[Pyro nods, making their way over to the desk and leaning over to dig through the drawers. Nothing. Of course there wouldn't be--

--Wait. They freeze for a moment, then gingerly take out something small. Something square....

It's a matchbook. They look as if they've just won the lottery. They immediately sit on top of the desk and feverishly try to light one of the matches, striking it against the matchbook. A small flame flickers and grows. They stare straight into the match, watching as the flame moves hypnotically.]

[thegreenhornet]

Be careful with that, you could burn everything down.

[What a thing to say to the Pyro, Britt]

[rainblower]

["Burn everything down?" You said the magic words, Britt. Pyro instantly leaps up onto their feet and starts to scramble over to the curtains, shielding the match from being extinguished.

They giggle ominously as they...reach out to light the curtains with the match. Um. You wanna step in, Britt?]

[thegreenhornet]

[Absolutely. He pulls the curtain back]

Hey! You gonna kill us all if you burn this place down!

[rainblower]

[When Britt pulls the curtain back, Pyro freezes, hand still extended with the match in hand. After an uncomfortable pause, their head slowly turns to stare at Britt, the flame reflecting off of their mask eye holes in an ominous fashion.

They stare into the very fiber of his being. Calculating. Judging. Their muffled wheezing grows louder.

After about ten seconds, they sit down on the ground cross-legged and decide to stare at the match in their hand. But occasionally, they'll glance up at Britt, and he can feel their eyes burning into his flesh.

Pyro will remember this.]