TEST DRIVE

[calloperators]

> Hello, you have reached the 1-800-HOTLINE Test Drive. We are currently unable to take your call. Whilst we put you on hold, feel free to play around for a while...

***

Waking up
Where the hell were you last night? Maybe waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a blacked-out memory isn't so unusual for you, but that buzzing in your head is. The phone beside you rings with a 7:00 AM wake-up call, and a message left behind:

Go downstairs, to the lobby. Meet the others. Don't get attached, and don't mention this call.

The AC is busted and in this hot summer, you probably won't want to stay in your room forever.

What's new, Pussycat?
Of course, there's much more around here than just the motel. Stepping out and hitting the town will give you plenty to do. There's stores aplenty, but that's nothing to say of the good residents of the stores; your friendly neighborhood bodega cats. They're content to laze around the aisles, though the more playful sorts may swat at your wayward accessories as you pass by.

Don't mind that they seem to disappear - and reappear - with a blink. That's just something cats can do.

Hungry?
Of course you are! There's plenty of places to eat here, but why go to some no-name joint when you can go to McDonalds? They've got burgers, they've got fries, they've got McPizza, and they even have a playplace! ...Though you're probably too old for the ball pit.

Regardless of what you order, if you even order, the cashier presses a small toy into the palm of your hand. Don't you feel a pair of tiny eyes on you?

McMurder
For fuck's sake, someone only went and killed a guy in the McDonald's parking lot. Maybe his head is smashed in under that chicken mask, or maybe you'll want to check? You could do the right thing and work out who did this, or you could make off with his baseball bat. The choice is yours.


Night life
What good's a city that goes to sleep? When the sun goes down, the lights go up. The city becomes aglow with every colour of the neon rainbow, with bowling alleys, nightclubs, karaoke bars, arcades and soon-to-be-extinct roller discos competing for your attention until the sun comes up. You're here, there's no curfew, it's time to make the most of it.

Wildcard
Have something else in mind? Go wild, and party like it's 1989.

Comments

[blutsauger]

Luckily, communication with birds is one of my- ah- talents. It's rather unfortunate I don't have my own flock with me. Or at least Archimedes. Having their presence usually makes local birds trust me quickly.

[He grins over at Ray knowingly.]

Are you, perhaps, offering your services?

[ghoststanning]

Aw, I'm envious! With how many pigeons live in New York, knowing how to talk to them would be neat!

[Ray grins back.]

I am!

[blutsauger]

It is quite nice! Though it also sours nearly every note of birdsong when you know exactly what they have to say. And it makes big cities much louder than it sounds to the average man.

[He's only been to New York a few times, and the sound of all the pigeons arguing with each other- mixed with the usual sounds of the city- was downright deafening.]

Do you have a plan in mind?

[ghoststanning]

I can imagine. I don't know how I'd be able to sleep at night if I heard every thing birds said!

[Ray ponders for a moment, before something hits him.]

Be right back!

[He sets the cat down and runs off to one of the store. After a couple of minutes, he comes out of one of them, with all his pockets filled with something. As he sits down on the curb, all the cats seem to perk up and head towards him.]

I think it's working so far!

[blutsauger]

Oooh! What did you get?

[Meanwhile, in the short time Ray was gone, Medic managed to coax one bird near him. Slow going, due to all the cats in the area, but it's at least perched on a nearby fence. Ray can't quite make out what kind of bird it is from the curb, though; and Medic is speaking so quietly to it that Ray can't make out most of the words. From his body language, it appears that Medic is trying to get the bird to step up onto his hand.]

[ghoststanning]

[The cats purr loudly and rub against Ray while he takes out a small bag from one of his pockets to show Medic.]

Catnip! I figured that it would be an easy way to draw their attention towards me and it will be harder for them to just run off with the catnip.

[He's living the dream right now.]

[blutsauger]

Hah! When I tried to use catnip to lead them away from me, they ignored it. Thinking back on that, it's possible too much of the scent rubbed off on me. Good job.

[Medic holds out his hand and presses it to the bird's legs, encouraging it to step up. The bird acquiesces, and Medic murmurs something encouraging. He turns around and walks over to Ray- keeping a safe distance for the cats- and...

That's not a pigeon.]

This is Marjorie.