TEST DRIVE

[calloperators]

> Hello, you have reached the 1-800-HOTLINE Test Drive. We are currently unable to take your call. Whilst we put you on hold, feel free to play around for a while...

***

Waking up
Where the hell were you last night? Maybe waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a blacked-out memory isn't so unusual for you, but that buzzing in your head is. The phone beside you rings with a 7:00 AM wake-up call, and a message left behind:

Go downstairs, to the lobby. Meet the others. Don't get attached, and don't mention this call.

The AC is busted and in this hot summer, you probably won't want to stay in your room forever.

What's new, Pussycat?
Of course, there's much more around here than just the motel. Stepping out and hitting the town will give you plenty to do. There's stores aplenty, but that's nothing to say of the good residents of the stores; your friendly neighborhood bodega cats. They're content to laze around the aisles, though the more playful sorts may swat at your wayward accessories as you pass by.

Don't mind that they seem to disappear - and reappear - with a blink. That's just something cats can do.

Hungry?
Of course you are! There's plenty of places to eat here, but why go to some no-name joint when you can go to McDonalds? They've got burgers, they've got fries, they've got McPizza, and they even have a playplace! ...Though you're probably too old for the ball pit.

Regardless of what you order, if you even order, the cashier presses a small toy into the palm of your hand. Don't you feel a pair of tiny eyes on you?

McMurder
For fuck's sake, someone only went and killed a guy in the McDonald's parking lot. Maybe his head is smashed in under that chicken mask, or maybe you'll want to check? You could do the right thing and work out who did this, or you could make off with his baseball bat. The choice is yours.


Night life
What good's a city that goes to sleep? When the sun goes down, the lights go up. The city becomes aglow with every colour of the neon rainbow, with bowling alleys, nightclubs, karaoke bars, arcades and soon-to-be-extinct roller discos competing for your attention until the sun comes up. You're here, there's no curfew, it's time to make the most of it.

Wildcard
Have something else in mind? Go wild, and party like it's 1989.

Comments

[rainblower]

Uh-huh.

[Pyro nods again, clasping their hands together and walking towards Venkman. Sounds like a plan! Maybe they can go inside to use their bathroom and maybe even order some McPizza or something. Food is important. They point towards the McDonalds in suggestion.]

Hhrmb mmrmph bbrmymhg fbbdd?

[neverstudied]

[Looks at the corpse. Looks back to Pyro.]

I... don't think I'm gonna be hungry again for a while. You go get something if you want, though.

[rainblower]

[Thumbs up! Pyro sprints off into the McDonalds and returns shortly with a cheeseburger and a shake. They would've gotten ice cream, but the machine keeps breaking for some reason. They wave the burger at Venkman as they trot up to him. How the hell are they going to eat it with their mask on? Well, that's just their little secret.]

Rdddy trm ggrm?

[neverstudied]

[Venkman, meanwhile, heads to the McDonald's bathroom to wash his hands. He spends like 5 minutes scrubbing the blood off of him, and by the end of it, he still feels grimy.

Great. So far today, he's gotten his hands covered in blood, touched a corpse, helped destroy evidence, and now he's gonna chaperone a firebug to prevent them from making a second corpse.

... Honestly, Venkman's probably had worse days.

When he meets back up with Pyro, he looks critically at the burger, and makes the the silent decision to keep his eyes on Pyro as much as possible to see how the hell they actually... eat. He's already taken the hint that they don't take their mask off, after all.]

Alright. Where to?

[rainblower]

[Pyro tilts their head to the side. Huh. Ghostbuster's hands no longer have ■■■■■. Why would he want to do that? People are weird. Maybe it's because ■■■■■ starts looking weird after a while.

They hum a little, tucking the burger into one of the pockets attached to their belt. They're usually reserved for ammo, but they'll make an exception this time. They then look up at Venkman and point towards the convenience store in the distance.]

Mmhph?

[They position the straw of the milkshake so that it's touching the filter of their mask. There's some audible slurping noises, althought...it doesn't look like the drink is actually going through the straw.]

[neverstudied]

[... Alright. You know what. Maybe there's some things man's not meant to know.

Off they go, to the convenience store! Once they're there, Venkman browses through whatever they have the offer, stifling a brief feeling of homesickness at the snack selection. It's probably a bad sign if Twinkies make you feel bittersweet, right?

... He also picks up a few worms on strings. They could be useful Pyro Distractions in the future.]

[rainblower]

[Pyro sticks closely to Venkman, watching him as he shops. Not that they can't go and find their own stuff--they just feel better having someone else around. Engie told them it's a good idea to stick with people you trust! They usually have good advice. The shake has been tucked into their other pocket.

They glance into the next aisle, and--oh! Hair products! Excellent. They hurry over and immediately pick up two cans without even looking at the price tag. They go to walk back over to Venkman when they pass by some glittery makeup samples and pause.

Carefully, they reach a gloved hand and scrape some glittering blue eye shadow from the pallet and start smudging it against the shelf, drawing a little smiley face and a few flowers. Occasionally, they'll go back to the pallet to get another color.

...They seem to have temporarily forgotten about Venkman.]

[neverstudied]

[Now that Pyro isn't looming over a dead body with a lighter in hand, Venkman's feeling a little more comfortable with their presence. He's apparently managed to get on the good side of this mildly-terrifying masked person, which could be helpful in the future, especially considering the fact that someone's already been murdered in the area- and judging by those calls Venkman keeps getting...

And sure, he can usually hold his own in a fight, but having this as backup is a real comfort. So long as they don't turn on him. Which is entirely possible. Hoo, boy.

Distracted by his internal debate about how likely it is that Pyro will burn him to death in his sleep, Venkman doesn't notice the makeup fiasco until it's a little too late. He winces, looking at the newly-colored shelf and the scattered, opened pallets.]

Hey, buddy, you know how much that stuff costs?

[rainblower]

[Pyro looks up at Venkman's voice, their gloves covered in glitter and smeared make-up. They're seated on the ground, hairspray cans off to the side and an empty burger wrapper crumpled on the floor. Once the shelves ran out of room, they started painting on the linoleum tiles.

Costs? They haven't had to worry about money in forever, what with running their own business and █████████. Heck, their business didn't even have to ever worry about finishing a quarter in the red after how much money the Administrator paid them. Granted, they hadn't gotten that money upon arriving at the motel, but that was something that they fixed easily. Something that was fixed with ████.

Silently, they reach into another one of their many pockets and hold out a thick wad of twenty-dollar bills to Venkman. They stare silently and expectantly at him. There's glitter on them now. Don't worry about it.]

[neverstudied]

[Oh goddamnit, he missed the burger-eating.

Venkman puts a hesitant hand on Pyro's shoulder and nods his head towards the cashier, hoping to encourage them to stand up and follow him without having to actively manhandle them. He accepts the money with slightly raised eyebrows- that's... a lot to just give a guy you barely know, Pyro. But he's sure as hell not complaining.]

You got everything you needed from here?

[Meanwhile in the pyro and ray thread they just fucking shoplifted which means venkman is the ghostbuster holding the one[1] braincell today]

[rainblower]

[Some things are not meant to be known, Venkman. Some things are not meant to be known.

They nod at Venkman's question, getting up on their feet and wiping of some of the makeup on their asbestos suit. They pick up the hairspray cans and follow Venkman to the cashier. They stop for a moment to pick out new plastic lighters at the front of the store, of course, but they're all set otherwise.

After dumping their stuff on the counter, they glance towards Venkman and say--]

Mmh hhrvb mmrmr mmhmny nmm mmm pckmmht fff yhhu nhhd hht.

[neverstudied]

[Venkman takes a moment to wonder how the hell he gained a companion in the form of a rich pyromaniac who has definitely killed before and will kill again.

But that's not important, because right now the cashier is trembling like a leaf and trying to avoid eye contact [eyehole contact?] with Pyro at all costs. Venkman leans forward on the counter and flashes her a smile.]

Hey, don't worry, they're with me. They're harmless. Now, why don't you just ring this stuff up real quick so we can be on our way and outta your hair, alright?

[She nods- she still looks nervous, but rings everything up without incident. Venkman pays with Pyro's [glittery] money, and winks at her.]

Keep the change, sweetheart. Have a nice day!

[As soon as they leave the store, Venkman shakes his head, grimacing.]

Well, with any luck, she won't call the cops on us for looking suspicious.

[rainblower]

[Venkman might have noticed their breathing becoming significantly faster as they walk out of the convenience store and into the parking lot. They barely pay any attention to his comments as they carefully set down one of the aerosol cans on the ground. They motion for Venkman to step back as they fling the cap off of the can and begin to shake it vigorously.

They take out one of the lighters they just purchased from the store and start flicking it. Once a small flame sputters to life, they carefully position the spray can behind it and press down on the trigger. A four-foot cone of flame erupts from the can, illuminating the two in its warm glow. The fire continues to burn as they continue to spray, sweeping the can from side to side and laughing with...glee?

Some trash on the ground gets set on fire. So much for not looking suspicious.]

[neverstudied]

Whoa, whoa, whoa there, hold your horses, kid! What'd I just say about cops? We don't wanna burn down the nice lady's whole store and torch her car, right? ... Uh, don't answer that. Just know that I'm right.

[The more this goes on, the more Venkman's pretty sure he's going to jail tonight. Possibly under suspicion for the murder of the McDonald's corpse. And he'd really prefer that not happen. He holds up his hands and tries to edge his way into Pyro's line of sight without getting burnt to a crisp.]

Hey, there's gotta be a garbage dump or something in the area, right? No one'll care if we break in and you burn a bunch of junk there. Just, uh, let's not set the parking lot on fire. People need un-burnt parking lots.

[A pause.]

And I'll give you another worm on a string if you come along.

[rainblower]

[Pyro stares back at Venkman, fire glinting menacingly off of the glass eye holes on their mask. After a brief moment, they lift their finger from the trigger, causing the flames to subside.

The garbage at their feet still smolders and glows as they turn to face Venkman full-on. Their wheezing breath is labored as they stand still, staring straight at Venkman. After an uncomfortable pause, they tilt their head to the side and lift the aerosol can up, pointing it directly at him.

Another pause. They flip the can in their hand and hold it out for him to take. It's still somewhat warm from the fire. With their free hand, they give him a thumbs up.]

Lhht's ghh.

[neverstudied]

[hhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Ok. Ok. You're fine, Venkman. You're not dead. They're not- they haven't killed you yet, it's fine. It's all fucking fine. God, where's the rest of his team. Egon needs to run the PKE Meter over this person, because Venkman's getting more and more certain that he's not dealing with a real human being.

Shaking slightly, Venkman digs a worm-on-a-string out of the plastic bag full of stuff from the convenience store, and presses it into Pyro's hand.]

There you go. See? Like I said.

[He holds his promises! See! Don't kill him!

Venkman recaps the aerosol can and walks away, looking behind him to make sure Pyro is following. Ok, garbage dump. Where would a garbage dump be...?]

[rainblower]

[Pyro glances down at the worm in their hand and giggles, gently twirling it with one finger. At least they've been somewhat placated. Alright, they'll follow Venkman. For now. They don't seem to have picked up on Venkman's demeanor, which is probably good for him.

It just so happens that there's a garbage dump on the edge of town before things start to get ██████ when you try to ██████. This seems awfully convenient for this thread and will likely have no bearing on the actual game. Or will it? Who knows!

Pyro barely even looks up from the worm as they walk--this time, they're not going to burn it. This is their worm forever and ever. As a result, they probably don't watch where they're going when Venkman ultimately stops at the garbage dump. Which means they probably run into him and end up jostling him a little.]

Srrhy.

[neverstudied]

[Hey! Garbage dump! Finally- OH FUCK HE'S GONNA DIE AND THEY'LL HIDE THE BODY IN THE TRASH PILES-

It's kind of amazing how high Venkman jumps at the slightest touch from Pyro, here. He falls on the ground and scrambles back a couple feet, breathing hard, his fingers digging into the cracks in the concrete. In all fairness, they'd been walking in silence for a while, and Venkman had almost started to forget Pyro was there. The sudden reminder had been a little... too much.

He forces his breathing rate back to a normal level, and manages a nervous laugh.]

Sorry about that. I get, uh, jumpy this late at night.

[Venkman scrambles back to his feet and eyes the chain-length fence between them and the dump. He wastes no time in starting to climb the fence, the plastic bag from the convenience store dangling from his arm.]

[rainblower]

[Initially, Pyro moves to help Venkman up, but--oh! Look at that. He's fine. Wonder what's wrong with him.

They scratch their head as they watch Venkman climb over the fence, blank eyeholes following him. Their nervous wheezing is audible as they wait for him to the other side. They kneel down to stick the worm on a string between the wires before climbing up onto the fence, their hands shaking slightly. It's a laborious process, but they eventually manage to haul themselves over and land on their feet.

They tug a little on their mask, ensuring that it's still securely in place, before picking up the worm again. They point to Venkman's bag.]

Fhhrh nnw?

[neverstudied]

[Venkman lands on the other side with the practiced ease of a man who has not only done this before, but has been fence-hopping since his pre-teen years and has still had to use the talent in his more recent, Ghostbuster years.

He does notice the slight shake in their hands, and almost laughs. They're nervous?

Or is it just anticipation?

Either way, he digs into the bag and hands over the aerosol can.]

Fire now. Go wild, buddy.

[rainblower]

[!!!!!!!!!

They snatch up the aerosol can, but not before pausing and holding out the worm for Venkman to take. They speak in what sounds to be an incredibly serious tone--]

Nh bbrn.

[--Before turning their back on Venkman and chucking darkly. They ignite the aerosol spray again to create a rudimentary flamethrower. This time, they purposely direct the flames towards the bags upon bags of trash piled up in this stinking hole.

Jesus Christ, the smell of burning trash is awful. Good thing they have a gas mask on. They take their finger off the trigger as they watch the blaze grow and crackle, only adding to the blazing Florida heat.

They sit down in front of the fire, chin in their hands. Staring into the flickering depths, as if hypnotized.]

[neverstudied]

Yep. Gotcha. No burning for these babies.

[Venkman settles back a safe distance from the chaos and idly plays with the worm on a string while watching Pyro go HAM.

Sadly, he's not a safe distance from the stench, and he pulls his shirt up to cover his mouth and nose, coughing at the fumes. Idly, Venkman wonders if this fire will spread, and he'll be responsible for a forest fire or something. Just adding onto the list of stupid shit he'll have done, today.

Pyro settles down on the ground, and doesn't get back up. After a minute, Venkman walks over and sits down beside them [a few feet away], still coughing occasionally.]

Enjoying yourself?

[rainblower]

Mmm-hmm!

[They nod vigorously, rocking back and forth and humming to themselves. Finally--a fire worth really appreciating. The fire is good, which means they're happy!

...Hm. They're forgetting something. Demo told them that they should remember to say something to matter what. They pause in their rocking, trying to comb through their brain.]

Thhmmk yuu.

[neverstudied]

See, isn't this way better than just burning up a parking lot? I told ya so.

[It took a whole lot of grief to get here, but Venkman's smile is entirely genuine for once.]

You're welcome, kid. Here-

[He hands them back the worm-on-a-string.]

[rainblower]

[They carefully take the worm from Venkman's hand and start twisting it idlly between their fingers, still fixated at the fire.

It's almost as if they've forgotten someone died today. And they definitely did, like, the minute the corpse left their view. But today was good because they got to do a lot of fun things with their new friend (?) and set things on fire! That's always fun.

They still wish the team could be here now, though.

...If Venkman wants, he can probably leave. They'll be sitting here for a while.]