TEST DRIVE

[calloperators]

> Hello, you have reached the 1-800-HOTLINE Test Drive. We are currently unable to take your call. Whilst we put you on hold, feel free to play around for a while...

***

Waking up
Where the hell were you last night? Maybe waking up in an unfamiliar bed with a blacked-out memory isn't so unusual for you, but that buzzing in your head is. The phone beside you rings with a 7:00 AM wake-up call, and a message left behind:

Go downstairs, to the lobby. Meet the others. Don't get attached, and don't mention this call.

The AC is busted and in this hot summer, you probably won't want to stay in your room forever.

What's new, Pussycat?
Of course, there's much more around here than just the motel. Stepping out and hitting the town will give you plenty to do. There's stores aplenty, but that's nothing to say of the good residents of the stores; your friendly neighborhood bodega cats. They're content to laze around the aisles, though the more playful sorts may swat at your wayward accessories as you pass by.

Don't mind that they seem to disappear - and reappear - with a blink. That's just something cats can do.

Hungry?
Of course you are! There's plenty of places to eat here, but why go to some no-name joint when you can go to McDonalds? They've got burgers, they've got fries, they've got McPizza, and they even have a playplace! ...Though you're probably too old for the ball pit.

Regardless of what you order, if you even order, the cashier presses a small toy into the palm of your hand. Don't you feel a pair of tiny eyes on you?

McMurder
For fuck's sake, someone only went and killed a guy in the McDonald's parking lot. Maybe his head is smashed in under that chicken mask, or maybe you'll want to check? You could do the right thing and work out who did this, or you could make off with his baseball bat. The choice is yours.


Night life
What good's a city that goes to sleep? When the sun goes down, the lights go up. The city becomes aglow with every colour of the neon rainbow, with bowling alleys, nightclubs, karaoke bars, arcades and soon-to-be-extinct roller discos competing for your attention until the sun comes up. You're here, there's no curfew, it's time to make the most of it.

Wildcard
Have something else in mind? Go wild, and party like it's 1989.

Comments

[thegreenhornet]

I have a lot. Most of them are from the criminal underground.

[The type to do something like kidnapping people and throwing threats]

[ghoststanning]

Most of my enemies tend to be of supernatural origins, and almost all of them are in another dimension right now.

[...]

And Walter Peck, but I doubt he's behind this.

[thegreenhornet]

[That doesn't sound feasible at all! Britt barely manages to keep himself from rolling his eyes. He'd sooner think this Walter Peck person is the culprit, if only because he's not a supernatural entity -- possibly]

So what, we got kidnapped by...gangster occultists?

[Britt sure doesn't believe in the supernatural at all, so what he's imagining when he hears 'supernatural origins' is pretty horror movie cliché]

[ghoststanning]

[Plot twist: They're all here because they violated the EPA in some way.]

It's possible! I don't wanna jump to conclusions without more evidence but this does seem like something a gang or the supernatural would do.

Hm, maybe a demon could have done this?

[thegreenhornet]

[A demon? That's...

...okay, that's slightly more likely, he guesses?]

Yeah, we could be in hell. [Hell, Michigan] You know what they say, they try to make hell look fun or whatever.

[ghoststanning]

I don't know, in my experiences in hell, I would hardly say it "looked fun". I guess it could be another circle of hell I haven't been to?

[... Yeah ok then.]

[thegreenhornet]

What...? Just how many hells have you been to?!

[Are you insane, man?]

[ghoststanning]

Well I went to hell once, and then I had to go to the underworld another time.

[...]

Oh, I wasn't there for the reasons you'd think! I was helping someone both times I went.

[thegreenhornet]

How do you even get into hell?!

[It's a relief Ray didn't say he died twice, because that'd be impossible, he thinks]

[ghoststanning]

The first time, it all started with this guy who really hated chickens...

[Uh Britt

Do you want to hear how on earth this connects to Ray getting sent to hell.]

[thegreenhornet]

[Oh god]

I get it now. You're messing with me, that's what you're doing.

[Goodbye suspension of disbelief]

[ghoststanning]

[He huffs, upset that Britt didn't instantly buy his chicken story.]

No I'm not! Trust me, I couldn't make up that story even if I wanted to.

[thegreenhornet]

Yeah? Then keep going, tell your absolutely real story. I'm all ears.

[Even though he doesn't believe it at all, there's an underlying sense of morbid curiosity here. Will he regret it, he wonders]